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Welcome to Typical University, where Cinderella is an adjunct, the Tortoise and the Hare share a tenure line, Bacchus runs the study abroad office, and everyone is as exhausted and beleaguered as the typical college employee. At Typical, Rumpelstiltskin will not be helpful with the tenure review process. Robin Hood may be breaking rules in the dorms, but that doesn’t mean his resident director wants to be known as the Sheriff of Nottingham Hall. Snow White has her hands full with seven unruly advisees. And that guy at the conference with more of a comment than a question? It might be Narcissus. In Bedtime Stories for Academics, beloved stories from folklore, mythology, and literature are transformed into clever, irreverent satire of university staff and faculty’s everyday challenges. With an arch tone and a biting comedic lens, this collection explores experiences and concerns, such as labour, hierarchy, and identity, shared across the entire population of higher education workers: graduate students confronted with the realities of their new academic career path; postdocs and new instructors grasping for a decent position as their non-academic friends thrive; seasoned professors who’ve seen it all; and the college staff who keep the university running. For current and former students, the stories offer a glimpse at the strife behind the scenes at every institution. For faculty and staff, the tales offer commiseration and hope: if Little Bo Peep, Prometheus, Huckleberry Finn, Pinocchio, Midas, and Ebenezer Scrooge can survive academia, maybe we can too.