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'Best. Diary. Ever' Metro 'Cheeringly depressing' Guardian 'Abandon all hope, ye who buy it' New York Times Perpetual Disappointments Diary is a downbeat journal for pessimists, cynics and losers everywhere. You'll love it. Ground yourself with a weekly demotivational proverb ('If ignorance is bliss, why are you so sad?', 'Crappe diem') and reminders of Notable Deaths. Travel the world with Useful Phrases translated into four languages ('A table for one, please', 'I have destroyed my hire car'). And save time with templates for Apology and Passive-Aggressive Notes. This may not be your year. But this is definitely your diary.